Dating an older guy
There was something especially cool about being friends with them. ""So, no normal 20 year old wants to hang out with someone who is 15. Stay away from him."This was the sort of thing that always led to my leaving the room in a teary huff, maintaining loudly that she Just Didn't Understand. One Saturday, the guys planned a picnic in a nearby forest park. Even worse, I couldn't say why I didn't want to go with him. It seemed just about every woman I knew had a similar story, a time when wanting attention meant getting the wrong kind entirely.
We were still at an age where our parents insisted on treating us like children. Once again, she was treating me like a child, someone unable to make her own decisions. It didn't seem like such a big deal, as my best friend was doing nothing sneaking around to be with her boyfriend. Suddenly, I wasn't that scared, invisible girl anymore, watching from the sidelines. I remember it was a gorgeous fall day, crisp and cool, and the first time I'd had Brie cheese and red wine. All I had was my instinct and discomfort — a bad gut feeling. When I write novels, there is always a clear trajectory: the beginning, middle, climax, and end. "We'll go somewhere."And that's when I said it."."My own voice — big, firm, filling the space — was a surprise to both of us. When I turned 21, I remember making a point, regularly, to look at teens and ask myself whether I'd want to hang out with them, much less date one. As a teen wishing to be an adult, it is easy to get in over your head.
But, seriously, if they ever do a reunion tour J is SO coming with me. Do you have any tips for dating someone older than you?
DO treat the relationship the same as you would with a guy your own age.
Or, you know, some version of whining about your age. With age (often) comes maturity and chivalry—take advantage!
Cece even tells Jess as she's first considering dating Russell (the one and only Fancypants) that "he intimidates you because you wouldn't have to take care of him, he'd take care of you."DON' T make your man feel older than he actually is (or date yourself).
The two of you might not see the world the same way.
And I've added a couple of my own tips for good measure, since I am the younger woman and all. DON' T point out how "cute" his first grey chest hair is (OOPS).
But I've been watching and compiled a list of DOs and DON' Ts from Jess's experience dating the sophisticated Dermot Mulroney as Fancypants, who's a whopping twelve years older.
I was the oracle, remembering each detail from my supporting role. I was causing trouble, making things difficult for everyone."What happened to you back there? Just like that, you lose your footing, and you're in over your head. He noticed my sudden distance and pouted, unsettling to see in an adult.
There was safety in the shadows, but also a kind of darkness. " my friend whispered as we walked back to the car with the guys a few steps ahead. "Like we were supposed to be boyfriend and girlfriend, or something.""Well," she said slowly. I'd completely accepted her romance with an older guy as normal, even destined. When he wasn't upset, he was in kindness overdrive, buying me things: a gold necklace with a floating heart, stuffed animals.