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Never married, she has a son James, now 13, by a man she parted from before her son was born.Ruthie has been looking for a boyfriend for the past decade.‘Perhaps the most moving of all was the one who said she was going to have to unsubscribe to my blog, not because she didn’t agree with it, but because it said everything she had ever thought and reduced her to tears every day and she couldn’t cry any more!’So behind this deep sense of loss and disappointment lie many reasons why older women miss out — male attitudes, the dearth of social opportunities, the emotional investment needed to date successfully online.‘Forty is a huge cut-off point for a lot of men,’ Ruthie explains.‘There was just one I met and we had a fantastic evening.They have certainly proved a talking point among my single women friends.
The typical 42-year-old man will accept a woman up to 15 years younger, but no more than three years older — and the women he enters into online conversation with are almost always at the younger end of the spectrum.‘My two terriers run barking to greet me, but apart from them, there is silence. I’ve lost a lot of confidence.’‘Over 40, most of the people you meet socially will already be in a relationship,’ he points out.
Of those who had got together within the past 15 years and were aged 40 or over when they met, four out of ten had met online.‘I keep trying to date men over the internet, but it is often hopeless,’ she says.
‘I can’t count the times a guy has seemed really keen to arrange a date, and then, with sometimes only five minutes to go, I get a text saying sorry, he can’t make it.
I contacted The Plankton and she said the huge response to her lament proves there are many older women who feel just as she does.
‘I have had so many comments saying that finally someone has come out and said the unsayable, the self-same thoughts they’ve had for so long, but never voiced to a soul in the world,’ she told me.