Friendships singles friends japanese dating dating in germany british americans
Specifically, how hard is it to make friends as an adult?
Is it, as writer Alex Williams would have us believe, nearly impossible to make lasting, deep buddy relationships past the age of 30, once the halcyon days of college are complete and adults turn their focus onto their careers, marriages, home lives, families, and children?
Hanna Rosin writes on Slate's XXFactor blog that actually, she hasn't had trouble making friendships in her grownup life at all.
She explains, "I’ve definitely witnessed the patterns Williams is describing, but it strikes me as much more a man’s way of going through middle life than a woman’s"—and actually, her "experience of lifetime friendships is exactly the opposite." As for what Williams experienced, we get a common tale of would-be friendship based on instant chemistry (liking similar songs and movie lines, finishing each other's sentences) that was held up by both men being, essentially, too busy with other things. We keep trying to get over the hump, but life gets in the way. In your 30s and 40s, plenty of new people enter your life, through work, children’s play dates and, of course, Facebook.
Singles and singletons (my term for people who live alone) tend to active social lives as they age.
He explained, "Given that about half of all adults are unmarried and one-third of them live alone, it was a striking omission [in the piece].
Friendships are, at their simplest, unions in which each person gets something of value from the other; if you don't need what a friend is giving you because you get it elsewhere—or you simply don't need it at all because your life situation has changed—they might end up getting cut from your life.
Further, if you can't find anyone you like or relate to, maybe you don't actually to like anyone that badly.
It's undeniable that this may be true for some, but Williams seems to ignore another key factor here: As people couple and marry and have children, thereby defining and narrowing their personal networks out of necessity (there's just not time for everything), there are singles who do perfectly well maintaining their own support networks of friendships, because those friendships have become their own "families" so to speak.
Having difficulty making friends isn't an age thing, it's a matter of life situation.