Gay dating protocol

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If you, as an expat woman, turn up for your date, as is normal in most countries, in a nice outfit, stylishly cut shoes, makeup and styled hair, your Dutch date will have a minor heart attack.

He is likely to ask you what that stuff is on your face, and if you are planning to attend a wedding after the date.

The Dutch female is often not particularly interested or fazed by the fact that their target could be married, in a relationship or even as the shallow man has witnessed with his own eyes, have their girlfriend present.

The Dutch ladies are relentless once they have set their sights on a target.

She was behind a curtain, having a good massage, when she heard a voice in English asking one of the staff, “what kind of massage do you provide here?

” The staff member responded “pressure point massage.” The English voice asked “what other kinds of massage?

My advice will no doubt upset some, and if I am captured by a posse of angry Dutch men with lion king hairstyles and am forced to sit through hours of music from Tiesto, Fedde La Grand and Armin van Buuren, i’ll look into the eyes of my enemies and shout, sodemieter op, jullie domme kakkers! Dutch men, are probably the luckiest of their species on planet earth.

Before telling you about the mistakes expats often make when dating a Dutch man, here’s a story about an incident in Amsterdam.

A female friend and sometimes running partner of the shallow man, was having a massage in a place in the Rivierenbuurt.

Your date will immediately assess you as being high maintenance, while he drinks his glass of tafel water. The Dutch male is used to the fashion sense of the “doe maar gewoon normaal” Dutch female.

In other words, denim, shapeless boots, a top that clashes so badly with the rest of the outfit that you’d think Stevie Wonder was their personal stylist, and hair that would make a perfect nest for any passing bird.

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