Metal chick dating

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She will also debate if whether Possessed or Death was the inventors of the death metal genre.

Along with discussing the perks of metal, she will also talk as much shit as you do.

Make sure she is the only person in the room, apart from the band and their girlfriends. Pro tip: if all the band's girlfriends are hotter than she is, it will lower her self-esteem. Be honest." If she says "yes", you evidently haven't followed steps three and four carefully enough.

After the gig, go to the bar, stand next to her and say, "I can't believe no one turned up. If she says "no", envelop her in a rough bear hug, tell her she's one honest bitch, and demand sex, right there on the bar.

When you’re with your metal chick girlfriend, let her belt out her best gutturals for you.

Tell her she does a great job and encourage her that she will be chosen as a vocalist for that badass band based on her talent and not on their biased opinion where they either oversexualize or undersexualize her.

It obviously doesn’t matter that she sits at home on the internet and doesn’t attend local shows and supports the music community in any other way.

Honestly you want her all to yourself, because if she attends shows every guy in the crowd will get a hard-on when she merely sneezes. She will remind you constantly how pretty she thinks your hair is and how her hair would be as soft as yours if she didn’t dye it so much. Let her play her favorite At the Gates album, even if that album isn’t Slaughter of the Soul.

Hell, no one is as good or better vocalist than Corpsegrinder. ) Another good trick is look at the words on her T-shirt. If she asks, it's not your fault that you're ogling her tits — it's her fault for choosing a T-shirt with a stupid font! Think of what you'll save on the bills if you never go to a barber again. Come back to this page in three years (or in four if you happen to look like a convict at the moment). If you don't know how to get one, look up the video to Billy Ray Cyrus's "Achy Breaky Heart". Your band needs to play the same kind of music as she likes. If an article about the Periodic Table pops up, you're in luck. If you can't read them, try moving in closer for a better look. Decent players will beg to be in it with you because of its awesome name.Try to look as much like the members of her favourite bands as possible. Remember, you invented the fucking name, so you have the right to fire anybody you want. If you answered "yes" to any of the above, are you in a band? If you answered "no" to any of these questions, attempt to change that answer to "yes" very swiftly. See How To: Make a Band for information not included here.

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