Seinfeld dating quotes

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It occurred to me only recently — while trying to explain to a girl I no longer wanted to see, “It’s not you; it’s me” — that the near-entirety of my repertoire as dater, pick-up artist and generally-frustrated bachelor is really just an amalgam of cues I picked up from .The line mentioned above is, of course, a favorite break-up device of one George Costanza, who is perhaps the most conniving but ultimately hapless lothario to ever walk the streets of (fictional) Manhattan.Probably to my detriment, I unwittingly gathered mine from Jerry, George, Elaine and, yes, even Kramer.The show played background noise to my early evenings from about ages six to twenty (if you’re questioning my math, one word: reruns), so the selfish, impulsive and cynical behaviors of the show’s core ensemble have always seemed — to me — rather normal. Now I am a young, single Manhattanite and, like each member of the comedic foursome that once acted as my barometer for acceptable social conduct, a serial dater.spectation), that I realized that no one on the show was actually going upstairs to drink coffee in the wee hours of the morning. Surely there is a more tactful and less corny way to invite someone up, like the more direct and equally effective “Do you want to go make out in my apartment? In Reality: The idea that this situation could thrive without one or more parties having their feelings hurt seems naive to this correspondent.They were merely using the coffee thing as a euphemism for requesting some extracurricular activity. Then again, the characters on : Jerry, George and Elaine seem to start probing for a reason to break up with their SOs practically before they start dating them. information."George Costanza: "I don't think I've ever been to an appointment in my life where I wanted the other guy to show up."Jerry Seinfeld: "You, my friend, have crossed the line between man and bum." George Costanza: "You should've seen her face. My whole life is a sham."Newman: Just remember, when you control the mail, you control...

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If you can’t embrace a person’s imperfections, well, I can’t imagine you’ll encounter eternally wedded bliss anytime soon.In Reality: Unlike the four characters who made up the core of our beloved for nine years, the average single person actually aspires to put an end to their loneliness someday.And the only way to do that is to be critical of past relationships, identify why and how they went wrong and apply what you’ve learned going forward.Seinfeld first aired 25 years ago this week, and would go on to inspire legions of imitators and disciples. Below, we celebrate the juiciest lines from Jerry and co. I hate men, but I'm not a lesbian" –George Costanza: "I have a bad feeling that whenever a lesbian looks at me they think 'That's why I'm not a heterosexual.'"George Costanza: "I've driven women to lesbianism before, but never a mental institution"George Costanza: "You know I always wanted to pretend I was an architect"George Costanza: "Borrowing money from a friend is like having sex. I'm miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.'”George Costanza: “When you look annoyed all the time, people think that you're busy.”Jerry Seinfeld: “That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.”George Costanza: “This woman hates me so much, I'm starting to like her.”George Costanza: “I spend so much time trying to get their clothes off, I never thought of taking mine off.” George Costanza: “If you can't say something bad about a relationship you shouldn't say anything at all.” Kramer: “I need the secure packaging of Jockeys. ” George Costanza: "The sea was angry that day, my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli..."Jerry Seinfeld: “Elaine, breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. Ya get a sense of it and then you look away." Frank Costanza: "You have the chicken, the hen, and the rooster. It was the exact same look my father gave me when I told him I wanted to be a ventriloquist."Jerry Seinfeld: "Did you know that the original title for War and Peace was War, What Is It Good For?It just completely changes the relationship.”Jerry Seinfeld: “You know the message you're sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You can’t do it in one push; you gotta rock it back and forth a few times and then it goes over.” Jerry Seinfeld: "Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. "Jerry Seinfeld: "Sex, that’s meaningless, I can understand that, but dinner; that’s heavy.

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