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Tom Rielly, co-founder of Planet Out (which operates gay sites both on the Web and on AOL), thinks the Net is a lifeline for people unable or unwilling to come out in public. You can remain anonymous but participate in a community of people like yourself.

It's the first medium to reach the closeted."Planet Out's mission, according to Rielly, is to help gays and lesbians meet each other online and off. "We've failed if all we do is connect people in cyberspace.

Nothing beats AOL for the immediacy of naked pictures popping up on your screen almost instantly."Rory O' Neill, president of Cybersite, which specializes in building online communities, says Paul isn't just imagining AOL's speed and ease of use.

"AOL uses a local client software resident on the user's hard drive," he says.

On repeated visits to different chat rooms, you'll find the public area of discussion silent.

The point of being in a gay room is unmistakable: You're there to attract flies -- literally.

Dicks if I can get them" -- Steve arranges a rendezvous. " is a refrain reverberating all over AOL's servers. "I logged on, clicked into a room, exchanged GIFs and bam, I was out the door."Not everyone is happy when they finally do meet offline.

An effective screen-name -- like "Opnwide4me" or "Uinmyass" -- leaves little room for second-guessing.

Straight men tend to put "looking for female" in their profiles, so it's easy to distinguish gay profiles from straight.

Then, using the instant message feature, he "IMs" the ones he likes, usually with an innocuous message like "Hey, I like your profile."After a flurry of exchanged photos -- "I want pictures of faces and bodies.

"I've tried other sites like Gay.com," says Paul.

"It's just not that easy to exchange pictures.

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