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For a long time, that deal breaker for me was dating a single mom.
I just couldn't wrap my head around potentially stepping in as the stepfather. Would he resent me for being involved with his mother? How would this affect him if we had more kids in the future? Questions like these were too difficult for me to answer, so I just avoided single moms like jorts on a summer day.
And for the love of god, if you decide to give one a spin, STAY AWAY FROM THE CHILD. To give them some hope that it might be YOU, and then leave them is unspeakably cruel. You can’t save those little innocents, but you can save them from hurting even more.
That child is aching for a man to call his or her own.
Having a child out of wedlock is pretty much the number one thing you can do to fuck up your life. Never, ever assume a divorced woman is some innocent blushing maid cruelly abused by some terrible man. What kind of insecurities plague a woman who thinks getting married to a drug addict is good idea?
You can pick up a heroin addiction, drop out of high school, rob a bank or decide to write the great American novel financing yourself on your credit cards. You can go to rehab, get your GED, get parole, and pay off those cards. A modern man doesn’t turn up his nose at a woman with some sexual experience who might have learned a trick or two from previous lovers about what men REALLY like, or more likely, she learned how to FIND OUT, but the majority of men would like to see a NEW sign on her uterus. When a man picks a wife, he wants to know he won’t be competing with some random babydaddy who was there before him. A great wife and mother places the needs and happiness of her husband and children ABOVE her own needs, and in doing so, finds her greatest happiness. But a woman who makes YOU the center of her life is going to be a great wife. Oh, that’s the story she’ll spin for you, because really, what women is going to sit there and say “I’m an unbearably controlling and irrational cunt who made my husband’s life such hell he decided he would rather be a weekend Dad than spend one more second with me”. What kind of delusional self-image does a woman have, if she can fall for a con artist with a gambling habit that would shame Charlie Sheen?
It wasn't particularly difficult because most of them are red flagged on dating sites. Single moms and my independent lifestyle pair together like cheese and wine! They shuffle to their ex's for custody arrangements.
Right before my 30th birthday, however, I decided to be open-minded about dating single moms. Here is why single moms make awesome girlfriends and why you shouldn't jump to conclusions when considering dating one: They change diapers, feed, do laundry, clean (and then clean some more). It is a lot of shuffling around and takes a hell of a lot of self-discipline not to just lose your mind. This builds character -- a lot more character than that giggling Tinder hookup who didn't know why we celebrate Independence Day.
At least this is true for when you first start dating. You basically have the best parts of both worlds: the girlfriend and the flexibility of being single.
It's like when you moved out of your parents' house and got your own place or went to college. And lastly, there will be a time in the relationship where you meet her children.
If you really love her, loving her children will be no obstacle.
You never know.) Searching for matches is super simple.
Once you’ve set age and distance preferences, you start swiping.