Love addiction and online dating
It’s a very real issue, yet many haven’t even heard of it — or understand it.
Now, we delve into this complicated topic with expert Pia Mellody.
Love addiction is a condition in which individuals do not fall in love with someone who will return their affection.
Rather, they are attracted to somebody who will neglect the relationship.
You spend a lot of time alone daydreaming and making up fantasies in your head that make you feel better because what you are making up in your head in fantasy will chemically change your body and create a sense of joy or relief.
That [chemical change] is what they are actually addicted to.
The fantasy usually takes the form of being rescued by – it is like Cinderella — a knight in shining armor or a wonder woman, who will take care of them and help them come out of their dilemma of being too alone and worthless and not knowing what to do.
I was surprised that everybody else was doing it, so I wrote a book.
When you go into withdrawal is when you are treatable.
When you are in the fantasy, you are not treatable because you are into that just like somebody smoking dope, snorting cocaine or medicating on tranquilizers. You can’t treat somebody that is medicating with the fantasy.
Is there a personality type that is more susceptible than another?
Pia Mellody: What makes people more susceptible is simply neglect. You can be the king — or queen — of the world, but if you have neglect, this type of thing is going to go on, although people may not recognize it for what it is.